~Chapter 9~
It seems that ever since the Unmentionable [Justine D< (angry face)] was executed, things have been even more gloomy than before. Victor is inconsolable and I see his suffering. I don't understand why the Unmentionable needs his tears or Elizabeth's. But as always, life goes on. I have learned that the hard way.I am currently battling with forgiving the Unmentionable and helping my Victor see that by being sad all the time, prevents him from being useful in his daily routines. He seems to not understand though, he seems completely shut off from the world nowadays. Inconsolable and out of reach. Maybe a change of scenery will do him good, do all of us good. The doctor says that I should take it easy. Apparently my health isn't too good. The doctor blames it on the recent events, but I also blame it on age.
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We are here in out house at Belrive. I see Victor from my window right now. It is late at night and he is heading down to the boats. I don't know if being alone is the best thing for him. But he has seemed to be improving if not just a little. But sometimes I sense a self-destructive atmosphere when I'm near him. I would not bear it if he lead to his own demise. He also tends to take long walks by himself. To where he goes no one knows because he never takes anyone with him. I fear he will set out one day and never come back. Or worse, he'll come back lifeless, in a cart with finger markings on his neck. Oh! My mind tortures me day and night with these horrible scenarios. And dear Elizabeth! She is no longer that spark of sunshine. She no longer takes delight in the little things, instead she spends her days and nights crying. I had hoped this change of scenery would do us all good. But it seems to bring about no improvement. I will just be patient and wait for the healing wind of this beautiful place to blow all our troubles away.
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